Thanks to one of our most inspiring vicars, Stella Creasy, the U.K. is well on its way to banning breathing and nose picking outside abortion clinics.
Other people breathing near or by women accessing abortion can be extremely upsetting and nose picking is just plain disgusting.
Fortunately, in the midst of war, plague and possible Armageddon, the trusty International Church of Abortion congregation in the House of Commons have understood the grave danger that these activities pose to vulnerable women.
International Church of Abortion MPs are determined to stop breathing, both deep and shallow, voluntary or involuntary breaths by law by imposing buffer zones. Any infringement will be dealt with fines and imprisonment. People caught picking their noses will have their index fingers cut off.
Some people say these punishments are too harsh and infringe free speech but abortion is our religion and we must protect it with every last breath in our bodies.