Abortionist_Crest

The Abortionist

MONKEY BUSINESS!

Amanda Stopheart

From the Editor:

The other day, I was speaking to our very own Professor Mengele on the subject of human/monkey chimeras. He congratulated us, saying, “Thanks to the work of you abortionists, there is plenty of fresh human tissue available. My motto is ‘waste not, want not‘.”

“I am recycling resources for the greater good,” he added, “and experimenting with putting human stem cells into monkey embryos. The resulting chimeras could provide better models with which to test drugs and grow organs for transplant. We really are as clever as a barrel full of monkey’s.” chuckled Professor Mengele.

Professor Josef Mengele

“You don’t think you are making monkeys of people, do you?”, I asked.

‘Ha, Ha!” replied Professor Mengele, “Who gives a monkey’s?!”, laughing maniacally. Then the good professor proceeded to show me pictures of some of the creatures he had created.

What an interesting afternoon I had.