Eminent biologist, Charles Darwin, is to be exhumed to answer a question which has stumped world leaders, politicians and the press: Is a 15 week old preborn baby a human being?

Although the famous biologist is dead, world leaders are unclear if that means he cannot communicate with them.

“Does ‘dead‘ mean ‘dead’? That is another crucial question.” a spokesperson commented and then added, “We are hoping to meet up with Darwin as soon as possible to resolve this abstruse conundrum. Until then the preborn child has no human rights and is fair game for killing or use as a lab rat.”