Baroness Fookes has been shocked by the treatment of of lobsters: “lobsters are still plunged alive into boiling water”. Luckily the upcoming Sentience Bill should prevent such abominations.

The Worshipful Company of Lobsters have expressed their gratitude to the charity Crustacean Compassion and to the government for these new protections. They have also set up a fighting fund of their own as they are shocked by the treatment of baby humans in the womb who can be dismembered , decapitated and disembowelled. They are also lobstering the government to have these pre-born humans included in the animal Sentience Bill.

No doubt the government will rightly send them off with a rebuke for having so much lobster sauce since the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists has denied that foetuses experience any pain before 24 weeks and remind them that the world is not their lobster.

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