The Abortionist

The Abortionist Announces a New Competition:‘BAKE OFF FOR CLUMPS OF CELLS IN THE WOMB’

Amanda Stopheart

Listen up all you budding cooks and sign up for our competition:

It has been shown that clumps of cells in people’s wombs have favourite foods just like us. And guess what? They like sweet tastes.

So put on your aprons and get creative! We are looking for the dish that can put the BIGGEST SMILE on the clumps of cells.

The competition closes on December 27th so think Christmas! All those delicious flavours: plum pudding, brandy butter, mince pies.

1st Prize: Free training to carry out abortions plus £10,000
2nd prize: Internship at BPAS plus £5,000
3rd prize: Free abortion plus £2,0000

Conditions: The judges’ decision is final. No correspondence will be entered into. Any mention of a ‘baby’, ‘person’ or ‘mother’ will render contestants automatically disqualified.